I knew the question was going to be coming, I just didn’t know when. This weekend preschool is family week so we were asked to bring in pictures.
I have a wonderful pictures of the adventures that and I have been on. And this great picture of Adam with his dog. We also have a picture of aunt Shell picking us up at the train station. And as I assembled the pictures, I realized that since my parents are no longer alive our family was very small.
This morning as we’re getting ready for preschool, AAA asks where’s my mommy. I am so grateful to the Facebook post that I read, wherein a man had been vulnerable about this very topic. I was able to easily say “I’m your daddy and I do the things that a mommy would do for you also. In many ways, I’m both.”
So he looks up to me with relief on his face and says “you’re my mommy” and gives me a big hug. It broke my heart because in his relief I was keenly aware I’m a single parent.
Over the next 10 minutes he proceeds to call me mommy. He was trying on a new name for me. I pulled out my practice sentence once again “I’m your daddy and I do the things that I mommy would do for you also – I am both. “. I can understand this is very confusing for three-year-old who sees everyone else’s pictures.
I know that there’ll types of families. My decision to be a dad, and at the same time the child in the system, is still the correct decision. I stand behind it.
I’ll keep trying to explain to my son our family situation, and at this young age I’m sure it will be key phrases that I will repeat often. This post is like a therapy post – I knew this day was going to come and I had to get those feelings out.
In the end it will all work out. In the meantime, as a humorous solution, I’m contemplating buying a big red wig, a fluffy bathrobe and high heels. Do you think that when he needs a mom I should dress up? I’m not sure what the equivalent of the Oprah show will be in 15 years but I’m pretty sure that I don’t want to be a guest on the show because I dressed up to overcompensate.
UH…I wish I could hug you! You seem to be doing a great job, Honey. Hang in there!
(I can send you costume pieces and wigs)