Adventures of a Crazy Gay Man » Zanal-Retentive

Aptos

zalexander — Sat, 05 Jul 2014 23:33:00 +0000

On a grown man and yet didn’t want to go up to the door of a 70 year old woman and say ” hi Mom”.

Of coarse, 25 years ago I found my biological mom and she stated she didn’t want to meet.

Every adopted person handles their history in their own way. Can only speak towards my feeling. So close and yet unattainable. 531 Cathedral in Aptos, CA.

There is also a bio uncle in San Jose who’s gay like me. How to find Robert Humphreys? (Wasn’t that Dan’s dad in Gossip Girl?)

I might be a tad mental right now.

Confirmation

zalexander — Sat, 23 Nov 2013 04:30:52 +0000

At 10:58 I wrote a post to record a validation I was looking for. To be honest I ask for confirmations and they usually don’t show.

But today it did. And I almost missed it. It was subtle and when I saw it, it took a moment to register. Now that I’m writing this i recall that I had a choice of 4 magazine to bring and I shuffled through them this morning and debated the holidays issues. Dunno why I decided on this one but here it is. And, I read the other on the flight here. Mmm.

I’ve created the 2nd bath at home. I brought one of the tiles with me because I need to paint the tub and match the paint. The tile was in my pocket and when I wrote my earlier post I was contemplating many things. I found it odd to have the tile and and decided what confirmation/validation/a sign would be based on that.

Well, fast forward . . . I’ve talked with people, wrote another post that I wish I had someone to talk to and started my magazine at dinner. I was so eyeing the light fixtures and then I saw the tiles and thought ” look how on style I am ” and then I saw the tubs. It still didn’t register. I started to flip the page and went back. Then slowly I remembered my post. Then the heading on that page “guest bath”. WHOA!

It’s here – it’s time. More later but hope had officially arrived.

How many times will it take?

zalexander — Mon, 28 Oct 2013 01:59:43 +0000

I was off Saint Johns wart for almost a week because I ran out and trader joes isn’t carrying it anymore. Since Friday I’ve been hyper alert and last night I had insomnia. Today I was edgy and I thought from the lack of sleep.

Truth: I need St Johns Wart. This is like every other time I’ve been off of it.

Feeling empty and lost so I had a large ice cream cone – first time in 5 months.

zalexander — Sun, 06 Oct 2013 23:12:05 +0000

My happiest moment today:

zalexander — Fri, 04 Oct 2013 04:32:39 +0000

It was going to be the pillow fight with AAA on my bed. Or perhaps my realization driving home that he’s a great kid and I’m lucky.

But after all that we were playing ball and I stuck it in the back of his underwear. He started spinning and hopping and gyrating and could not get it out. I started laughing and I thought he’s get upset. But he grinned more and kept trying to get that ball out.

This is the sad and happy truth – I laughed Hard and from my belly and it’s the hardest and longest I have genuinely laughed in over a year. I love my son.

Ugh. Some things in queue posted the morning. Oh well.

zalexander — Tue, 25 Dec 2012 19:03:23 +0000

Old utility room cabinets = garage storage Why does this make me soo happy?!

zalexander — Sun, 04 Nov 2012 00:24:30 +0000

He’s Ba-ack! Yep, another house project. Washer and dryer are moved, closet on the other side is empty … Take down that wall Mr. Alexander.

zalexander — Sat, 03 Nov 2012 21:25:10 +0000

Dear friends: if you know of any call center or call center operations please let me know. I’ll forward my résumé right away. And if you don’t, put some good thoughts out there for me. It’s truly needed.

zalexander — Fri, 26 Oct 2012 15:23:02 +0000

My happiest moment today:

zalexander — Thu, 30 Aug 2012 04:05:02 +0000

Realizing the insanity of it all at work, shutting it out and plowing through my inbox: file, forwarding, fast replies and mass deletions. (I’ll pick up the details on the next round). I went from an inbox of 1800 to 300.

My slight regret was being late to daycare 30 minutes.